The story that I tell myself

Monika Tutterová

Management Coach, Alumni Class of 2003

As we communicate out loud to the outside world, so we also communicate silently and inwardly. How much do our inner monologues shape our outer actions?

As we communicate out loud to the outside world, so we also communicate silently and inwardly. How much do our inner monologues shape our outer actions?

Our inner communications shape our worldview, and by doing so, shape our outward communication with those around us. 

What do we think about every day? Do our thoughts limit us in our actions? Do we have thoughts which we logically know to be unreasonable, or that limit our actions? But despite knowing this, do we still hold onto these unhelpful thoughts and act accordingly? 

Stop and try to focus on your thoughts for a while, observe them and question them. Are they there for a reason, or only because you justify their existence? Where did they come from? Why are they there? 

Unclutter your thoughts and clear your mind. 

In “The Iron Lady” movie in 2011, Margaret Thatcher said:

“Watch your thoughts, they become words;
Watch your words, they become actions;
Watch your actions, they become habits;
Watch your habits, they become character;
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”

As we listen to our own thoughts more and more, we start to call them facts. Facts that create our beliefs about the world around us – beliefs that create a story. A story of which we can define along these lines: 

“I need a story that I can tell to everyone…who would I be, if I let go? I cannot let go.” 

As Eckhart Tolle describes it: “Repetitive self-talk becomes a habit, and creates an inner reality – this is me. Some people have an inner resistance. They don’t want to be free of their problems. The barrier to overcome is not freedom from problems, but freedom from a limited and fictitious sense of self-identity. The next step in the evolution of human consciousness is to step out of self-talk and out of the conditioned mind, by realizing there is much more to who I am than the conditioned content of my mind. This is the beginning of awakening. And it is not to say, “I believe there is more to who I am…and you (all) better believe it too,” because that is still self-talk.” 

Have you ever recognized the story you tell yourself? Do you know that the more you focus on it, the bigger, greater and more meaningful it becomes? Sometimes the story we tell ourselves is not a supportive one. Conversely, even though we can feel that we have the potential to create, to reach, to be the best, to believe in ourselves, there may come a moment when the voice inside our head says: “Can you? Really?” Our self-limiting beliefs – also known as fears – have kicked in. Our fears originally had a positive function, to protect us, but today they are no longer useful. 

How do we get rid of our fears? Remember that they are part of us, part of who we are – while we may not be able to eradicate them completely, we can transform them. Understanding the fear transforms it into an ally rather than an enemy. All that is needed is your own resolve. 

When will you want to transform your fears? 

What thoughts will shape your character and destiny? 

Who will you become?